I’m at a point in my life where I’m trying something new as a ‘career’ and I’m not sure how it’s working out. I want it to and you know, I’m there early, I’m asking questions and I’m engaged but it’s taking me longer than ever to get it.
I don’t think I can blame a fuzzy head for this, though I think a lot of my fuzzy head comes from how long it’s taking me to adapt to change. I used to be like GI Jane, dropping and rolling with each new experience, is it old age that’s changed me?
All I know is some days it feels like ten steps forward and two backwards (which is pretty good in the first month, I think) but do you think I can think of anything but the little things I’ve got muddled in a day? Of course not.
I go home and worry that I’m about to be fired because I copied the wrong thing or didn’t read a note thoroughly enough. I’m so hard on myself and it’s making me nervous.
I just long to be on the other side of being the new girl with no experience.